#11 Smiling through Sleeplessness 

Another sleepless night as the suns was shining a little too bright,

The heat leaves me restless, I’m tossing and turning.

I’m not complaining, I’m just laying. 

One leg hangs off the bed in attempt to keep my cool,

Followed by the breeze between the silhouettes of trees.

My garden skyline, stands gloriously green.

The same trees outside my window which I’ve admired as a little girl,

The same trees I’ve gazed at through snow and make my home, home.

Things aren’t exactly how I wish but I’m practising my gratitude, 

All I have to be grateful for; an overwhelming list. 

It’s twelve fifty three and I think of all those I love, 

resting their heads on their pillows,

resting before another fleeting day,

They’re peacefully laying in their little pockets they call home,

They’re safe, they’re content, 

Their world pauses and I breathe easy. 

My heart is fulfilled and my home is quiet,

All these people that show me love,

All these people that are my world,

Thank you.

#6 Dreamer to believer

It’s freezing, it’s dark and dreary. I may have just walked through the murkiest puddle, missed my train and broken my umbrella… but I don’t care!

My smile is beaming from ear to ear and the spring in my step could bounce me off to Pluto. This….this is the feeling I’ve been chasing, and I’m going to cherish every moment of it.

I auditioned for an exciting theatre company in London last week and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something so much with every fibre in my body.

Sitting at my desk earlier and my phone rang, it’s an unrecognised number, and the call is located from Germany.

My mind starts racing, my hearts beating like a drum.

“Hi Anita, its Mike. How are you today?”

Frantically, trying to pretend I haven’t been eagerly awaiting his call: “Hi Mike, I’m good thanks..erm..erm how are you?” (Breathe Anita you crazy woman, breathe!)

Softly spoken and calm as ever, Mike goes onto say, “Thank you for auditioning for the company last week, we would like you to join our Germany and France tour.”

“What! Sorry, what! Are you sure, oh my good god! You’ve just made me the happiest girl! This is crazy, are you sure? Me!” (-Ramble ramble, stop rambling Anita!! I’ve never been great at playing things cool).

“Would you like some time to consider the position?”

“Oh my god no, no need to consider! I’m a 110%!This is a dream! Do you know I dreamed about getting this part! Not once, but twice!!”

I’m so cringe, keeping calm has never been my forté. …Dear god, he must think I’m batshit crazy! Although, he was exposed to my ditziness In the audition as I was awful during the warm up games. I couldn’t catch for toffee with my nerves.. He even told me ‘I was a gift’ when I kept forgetting the rules of our first exercise. (Palm face)..

Who’d have thought I would get picked! I hoped and prayed I would, but didn’t believe it would happen. I was up against some unbelievable talent, people that had graduated from accredited fancy drama schools..but they picked me!

Time to treasure this feeling, for its the step I’ve been wishing, waiting and working for.

A month ago I was negative as ever, overwhelmed with self doubt..and now I feel on top of the world. I’m making a promise to myself now, to not unpick it, overthink it or be pessimistic.

After my audition I dreamed twice about joining the company..little did I believe the dream would come true..

Six exciting weeks of family, friends and festivities… and then off to Germany I go!

#5 Sunday

She was a little lost, but that’s the way she liked it

No maps to force her down a path she wasn’t ready to travel.

Open hearted; no thing as too much

Her heart was her compass, her only guide.

It was time to turn her cant’s into cans and her dreams into plans..

She was finally ready to trust that she could find happiness on her own,

To trust the magic of new beginnings..